yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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