My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize