Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
