evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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