i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
