people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
