Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
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