it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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