His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
