you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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