You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had to cum in my sink.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
