the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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