Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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