They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
