When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Let's paint friendship bongs
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
