I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
