we're blogging at a bar
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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