party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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