Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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