Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
