i'm signing you up for texting rehab
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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