Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize