So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize