k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
