Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
im holly from the hills drunk
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
