Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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