She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm at about main and main street
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
