i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
