Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
time to smoke my breakfast
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
