I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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