am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
