mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
