So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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