yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
