If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
