I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
