Where did you get a picture of my penis
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
