no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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