omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
