i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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