I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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