I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
