I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
