did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize