We won't sleep together?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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