Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
