I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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