the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
