Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
