when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
