Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need a beard to bite.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
