I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
