Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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