I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My pussy is not your playground.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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