Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
