He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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