I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
