This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
...so i touched it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
