Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
