Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
