I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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