Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
