and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
