that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize