Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
