you win again, gameday.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
