So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
