2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
